Just Be Honest

“How’s your week been?”

This is a question we get asked at church. It’s a good question! I wonder how you feel about answering it? It might depend on who is asking and whether they seem genuinely interested.

Sometimes your week has been so terrible that you’re not sure if you can talk about it, or whether the person innocently asking the question is ready to hear it.

I recently asked someone how their week had been and he said, “It’s been a really hard week.” Then he told me something really upsetting that had happened. I felt really sorry for him but I was so glad he actually gave me an honest answer!

Depending on what kind of church you go to, you may or may not feel comfortable expressing deep emotions in church. It might be that you can be totally honest with your church family, especially those closest to you. You might not feel that you have to put on a brave face for church and tell people “God is good” even when you’re feeling crushed. But sadly many Christians do. And if believers are not prepared for the reality of suffering, they may even walk away when things get really tough.

That’s why I love this book.

‘Just Be Honest’ is written for Christians who are hurting and for those who know someone who is.

Clint Watkins is very honest about his own experience of losing a child and how he struggled with God and with the weight of the grief. He gives us, from Scripture, permission to wrestle with the Lord, and to struggle. Many years ago my pastor said to me, ‘struggle is a sign of life.’ Dead things don’t struggle. Struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing. It’s a normal part of the Christian life:

God welcomes his people to worship through tears and pray without pretending. Aches, questions, and tears are a heritage of faith handed down to us through the generations. We belong to a legacy of lament. p.18

God’s people have always suffered. This book helps us to be honest about it and take our pain to the One who can heal us.

As well as being honest with God, this book is also about being honest with each other. He addresses those who need support and how they should let others in, as well as those who want to help but don’t know what to say and don’t want to say the wrong thing. He gives practical advice as well as spiritual encouragement, drawing on his own experiences:

This is the simple power of Christlike compassion. Show up. Shed tears. Lament, listen and love. p.143

Even while I was reading this book, I had several conversations with people where the words of the book came to mind. I suppose one reason for this is that, when you really stop to look around, there are people struggling and suffering everywhere. Yes, this is a wonderful, beautiful world. Yes, we have the victory in Jesus! Hallelujah!

But we’re also in the world that’s blighted by sin and Satan. We’re in the world where hopes are dashed, sickness thwarts and death separates. So we need books like this to help us shed God’s grace and light onto the path when grief or trauma is blocking the view and our loved ones can’t see a way forward. And when we’re the ones struggling, we need to go to the One with whom we can and must be truly honest.

Our grief was not ours alone to bear. Through lament, our friends and family took hold of our heartache. They made our sorrows their own. Our questions became their questions. Our groans became their groans. Their cries on our behalf resounded: we were not alone. p.113