I’ve been thinking about space.
First, a word or two about the size of my home. It’s a 3-bed flat, which is quite extravagant in central London, and it’s quite spacious for a 3-bed flat in Central London. So we’re very grateful for our flat. Without it, we wouldn’t live here. That sounds obvious but it’s true. So please don’t hear the following as a complaint, but rather a reality of our family life.
I think it is fair to say that our home is quite a small space for six people to live in. I don’t think anyone would rebuke me for finding it crowded – which I do. I sometimes wonder whether we’re just being completely ridiculous, trying to raise four children in this flat. I mean, I think my brother’s hallway in Glasgow is bigger than my living room (which also serves as a dining room/craft room/play room/Bible study room/homework room).
I have no laundry room, no second bathroom (master/children’s/guest or other), no mud room, no yarn room. I only mention these rooms I don’t have because they’re all mentioned in blogs or parenting books I’ve read. And sometimes it seems hard to apply the priniciples from those blogs/podcasts/books to my own situation, since I don’t have the facilities to which those authors have become accustomed.
So does it matter? Is parenting basically the same whether you have a games room in the basement or, well, not (i.e. no basement, or loft, or garage, or driveway, or porch)?
Well, one thing I’m realising more and more is that everyone’s situation is different. Even living in identical houses in the same town, two families are never going to be the same. This is obvious, almost embarrassing to point out, and yet I think we often worry when we notice differences in our families, as if that’s not a good thing. So we can take encouragement from other families, but we shouldn’t expect to or even try to be carbon copies of them. God designs diversity.
I was listening recently to a podcast where two mums were talking about being creative and wanting their children to be creative. And I agreed with them, and I want that for my children, but I felt a bit sad thinking about how hard it is to be creative when there isn’t any room at home to swing a cat, never mind build one out of papier mache. When my children want to do something with glitter, or glue, or even just wool, inwardly I groan because they can’t do it far away enough from my toddler, and also it’ll soon be a mealtime and we’ll have to move it all out of the way so we can eat.
And I don’t want to be the inward groaner.
But one thing occurred to me. I can help my children to be creative, but I need to figure that out for my own situation. In other words, I need to think creatively about how to enable and encourage creativity in my home, because of the fact that my home is small (small and lacking in ventilation). It also occurred to me that it might be a blessing for my children to have a mother who has thought creatively about how to help them with this. Maybe it will flex some creative muscles in me that will make me a more creative mother.
And that reminded me that God, our Heavenly Father, actually could give us a bigger home if he thought it would be good for us. He’s not dismayed or baffled by my home. So maybe he’s using it for our spiritual good. And when I say maybe, I mean of course he is.
So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. Matthew 6v31-34.
(Or you might say, “Do not worry, saying “where will they sit?” “how will they sleep?” or “what if they want to learn the drums?” For parents in the world run after these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them (perhaps not the drums). But follow Jesus, and teach them to follow Jesus, and things will work out well for you, according to His will. So don’t worry!”)