Supermum

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There was an advert on recently which was trying to persuade mums to bake to raise money for Children in Need.  I was impressed they’d managed to get The Bonnie Tyler to sing a version of ‘I need a Hero.’  They’ve changed the words to, ‘Be a Hero’, and that’s the tag line of the advert.

My two older children were away last week, leaving just me and the baby – my husband was working.  I wrote a list of things to do, and for the first time I can remember I actually ticked everything off the list!  Catching up with people, getting things prepared in advance of upcoming birthday parties, etc. etc.

I had it in my head that it would be really satisfying to get things done that I can’t normally do, especially things I don’t want to do but know I should (e.g. clean the oven – groan).  I could get to the end of the week and think ‘Yes!  I’ve arrived!  I  made the most of my time and now my family and I shall reap the benefits.’

But instead, I got to the end of the week and I still felt tired, and I felt a bit stressed and a bit frustrated.  So I started to ask the question, ‘Why?’ There are probably lots of answers but today I realised one reason.

I think that I was believing that by Getting Things Done I would be able to feel truly rested.  I would be able to rest, knowing that I’d used my time well and achieved things.  I think what I really want is to be Supermum, and when I’ve achieved that, then I can relax and enjoy myself a bit.  I’ll finally feel on top of things.

While I’m striving all day long and all week long to reach this Superhero status, I’m ignoring something big (and, yes, blindingly obvious):

I’m not a hero.  I need one!

I’m weak; I get tired; I get ratty; I can’t be bothered; I make mistakes; I’m selfish; I watch TV when I should be sleeping; I sleep when I should be cleaning; I clean when I should be reading the Bible, and so on!

The secret of motherhood is not: “Just Get Everything Done.”  It’s a good thing, too, because I never get everything done!  There’s always more.  More mess, more washing, more cleaning, more shopping, more sorting, more cooking…

So what should we Supermum wannabes do?  (I’m assuming it’s not just me!)

Jesus says: ‘Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.’  Matthew 11:28-30.

I have these verses stuck up on the wall in the kitchen.  Ha ha ha!  Lord have mercy on me, a sinner.

So how can I really get a proper rest – not a put-your-feet-up, have-a-cuppa rest, but a lasting, peace-in-your-heart rest?  Go to Jesus, who is my rest.  His priority is not that I tick things off my list.  He’s busy looking at my heart.  I need to preach this to myself every day!  If Jesus doesn’t gauge the success of my day based on the state of my bathroom, then why do I?

I always think Mums look so together and sorted out when you see them, hair done and clothes matching (likewise with their children) – they do look heroic!  But inside, aren’t we all weary and burdened, and needing rest for our souls?

I’m so grateful that (unlike Children in Need), God doesn’t command me to be a hero.  It’s the opposite!  He gives me a hero instead.  The God-man who achieved it all on the cross for me, so I don’t need to strive anymore.  He gives me the righteousness I have never earned and desperately need.  One day I’ll enter the eternal rest which Jesus won for me – and until then he gives me strength to keep being wife and mother each day.  And each day, if Jesus is my saviour, The Lord is pleased with me.  Thrilled to bits with another day’s work done.  He forgives all the things badly done and the things not done, and he loves me loves me loves me.  Dwelling on this truth will give me so much more joy in my heart than a nice cup of tea and a sit down.

Finally, and so very importantly: if I’m running around trying to be the hero of my family/the school cake stall/the church lunch, I’m not pointing my children to the hero they really need.  This is the worst part of all!  It’s good for my kiddiwinks to see that Mum is not Super.  She needs Jesus, the Super Saviour, and so do they.

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The Bigger Gingerbread Man

gingerbread

On the way to my daughter Miriam’s nursery there is a bakery which sells, amongst other things, gingerbread men.  There are small gingerbread men for 40p, and large gingerbread men (or even butterflies) for £1.

One day, probably about a year ago now, I bought my two children a small gingerbread man each.  What a treat.  They’d been past that bakery a hundred times and had never asked me to buy them anything.  I love giving the children a little treat – a surprise that they really appreciate.

Since then, I’ve bought the children gingerbread men/butterflies several times from the same bakery.  Recently when Miriam had her pre-school booster jabs I let her choose whichever one she wanted as a special treat to cheer her up.

A few weeks ago, when I picked Miriam up from nursery I told her we could go and get a small (40p) gingerbread man.  I went in and bought her and my son, Ezra, a small one each.  Miriam, however, wanted a big gingerbread man.  She then proceeded to have a screamy, shouty tantrum outside the bakery in the busy street.  I was so embarrassed.  She seemed extremely spoilt, shouting ‘I want a big gingerbread man’ at the top of her voice.  And as well as feeling embarrassed about it, I felt really sad.  A year ago, she was thrilled to get a small gingerbread man, but now she despised it – it wasn’t good enough.

This incident taught me a few things I’d like to share with you.

Firstly, I am just like Miriam.  God gives me good things (material or otherwise) – wonderful treats which I am thankful for.  But then I get used to them, and I want the ‘next’ thing, I want the nicer/the longer-lasting/the more expensive.  The bigger gingerbread man.  I set my heart on something, and then after God graciously and generously gives me that thing, I realise it doesn’t satisfy and I move on to something else.  This discontentment is caused by idolatry in my heart.  I think that something other than God will satisfy my soul.  And I even think that for my children.  I know it’s good to take pleasure in helping my children to enjoy something, but if I think that something is going to satisfy them, then I’m leaving God out of the picture.  I’m teaching them, through my actions and attitude, that satisfaction can be found in something other than God. This realisation has made me very uncomfortable!  Oh how I need God’s grace.

So, as well as crying out to God for mercy, what shall I do about it?

Give thanks to God for all of the gifts he kindly gives me each day.  At the same time, remember that the greatest gift God could give me is his Son, Jesus Christ.  He more than satisfies my deepest needs and desires.  I suppose part of this is expecting other things not to satisfy.  Know in advance that, although I’d really like that ultra-slim Dyson, it won’t actually change my life if I end up buying it! Only God can give me lasting joy.  My children need to see me finding my satisfaction in the Lord.

And when I “treat” my children, I should remember that their pleasure won’t last and they will soon be asking for something else.  And it’s my job to point them to the source of all treats, and the real treat himself – Jesus Christ.

“I have seen you in the sanctuary
And beheld your power and your glory.
Because your love is better than life,
My lips will glorify you.
I will praise you as long as I live,
And in your name I will lift up my hand.
My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;
With singing lips my mouth will praise you.”

Psalm 63:2-5.