Category: Tweens and teens

Christmas Gifts 2025

“Jesus gotta be top of the list at Christmas;
Jesus gotta be top of the list all year.”

Colin Buchanan is right as usual. But if you need gift ideas, either for your own children or other people’s, here are a few from me. We got most of these last year and they’ve been a success. I’ve saved the best for last, which I think is what bloggers are supposed to do.

As always, there are no affiliated links here. And if you’d like to see my previous suggestions, they are  here, here, here and here. These might be especially useful if you are buying for younger children, as my children used to be younger than they are now.

Play:

Exit the game – If you know a child who likes escape rooms, these games are good. They can only be played once, but for me that’s a bonus as our flat is very much full of games. My son received one last year (it was the Enchanted Forest one) and we played it as a family. It took us about 2 hours, which I think means that strictly speaking we should still be trapped in the forest, but we enjoyed it nonetheless.

A more expensive game but one my boys have really enjoyed this year is Hero Quest. I don’t pretend to know what it is, but I do know that adults and children alike enjoy it. My son says it’s called a ‘dungeon crawler.’ It involves mini figures and dice. I think if you like Dungeons and Dragons or Warhammer then this is a good choice.

If you’re looking for a more active gift, a rebounding trampoline is a great way for children and teens (and adults?) to expel energy. There are loads of rebounding workout videos online. These are much more compact than full size trampolines, but I can say from experience that if you’re keeping it indoors you might want to think about where you’re going to put it. (I’ve sometimes put mine in the bath but that’s not a permanent solution.)

Make and do:

If you haven’t come across Eugy toys yet, I’m not sure how that’s possible. So I’m sorry if this is old news but my youngest two children (12 and 9) LOVE them. Some children love things they can collect, and these are sweet little things which keep them occupied for a good half hour while they build them! There are so many as well, that if your child likes them it can be their stocking filler for the next few years at least. (These are currently 3 for 2 in Hobbycraft. A great deal!)

Last year we gave our daughter a sewing machine for her 15th Birthday. It’s an expensive gift but one that we hope will last her many years. A sewing box is also something that can last a lifetime. John Lewis sell really beautiful William Morris print sewing boxes.

If you have children who enjoy games with mini figures, then paints and maybe an airbrush set would also be a welcome gift.

Read:

Murdle – My older son really likes these books. They’re for children and adults. They’re puzzles. To be honest I’ve never done one but I know they’re hugely popular so you probably know more about them than I do!

In a similar vein, these Sherlock Holmes Escape Books are really good for children who like puzzles and riddles and escape rooms and that sort of thing.

Abigail – for children (dare I say, girls?) aged 7+, these books are a great gift. I have a 9 year old daughter, so these overtly Christian (and American) adventures of a 9-year-old girl are fun and easy to read. I’ve read some of the Christmas book with her, and it’s oh-so-realistic depiction of a family Christmas helps children to process the ups and downs that can come as an extra special (so, so extra and special) Christmas gift each year. The excitement, the high hopes, the crowded house… what could possibly go wrong? The somewhat far-fetched thing is the way Abigail processes things, which I feel is the way we hope our children’s process their emotions etc. but I’m not convinced is realistic. However, my daughter really enjoyed it and I think Abigail is a great role model for her!

Green Ember – I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this before, but these fantasy stories about rabbits have really captured my son’s imagination. He is 12 and I’ve been reading them aloud to him but he could definitely read them himself. They have Christian themes but are not overtly Christian – not yet anyway and we’re on Book Three.

Hot off the press! Jane Austen is really rather good. Last year I got ‘Mansfield Park’ from Classic Novels and it’s really lovely. I thought it was great value so I’m just giving them a little shout out.
Did you know, she may have had Addison’s Disease like me (google says it’s her cause of death) and she almost has my Birthday? (One day off!) I feel like I deserve a prize: if anyone reading this works for a publishing house – do reach out!

Advent Gifts

If you’d like to give families you know something a little different, it’s a nice idea to give advent gifts at the beginning of December rather than at Christmas. I recently bought these advent candles with the name of Jesus on them. You could give those to a family at the beginning of December, maybe with a little candle holder. It’s a great gift for godchildren (my daughter’s godparents bought us our first one).

It would also be really thoughtful to include an advent devotional for any grown-ups or older teens in the family. This year I’m reading With Heart and Soul and Voice (shown above – I’ll post a more detailed review of this next week.). Tim Chester is always an encouragement. In previous years I’ve also enjoyed Sinclair Ferguson’s devotionals. The great thing is you can always re-read an advent devotional, as the wonderful news of the incarnation is the same every year!

In the past I’ve also given people homemade Christmas bunting and a ‘Russian doll’ nativity set (the same as this but not from this website), which are good to give in early December so they can be enjoyed during advent.

Budget-friendly gifts

I’m aware that some of the above are quite pricey. My previous posts have usually had some more affordable ideas. I do recommend trying to find things in the January sale which you can then give next year. But it’s too late for that now so here are a few ideas:

  • A framed photograph. You can get cheap white photo frames in the supermarket and they do the job perfectly well!
  • A baking kit so they can make some cookies or muffins in that in-between time before they go back to school.
  • Some shower gel and a shower puff like this. My son got that for his teen sister last year and it was a lovely gift for about £2.50 if I remember rightly. We put it in a gift bag and it was perfectly presentable. (The puffs are currently £1 in Tesco, just saying.)
  • If you’re giving to relatives or family friends, you could give the children a ‘baking lesson’ – i.e. take them off their parents’ hands for an hour while you bake some cookies! Your time is a precious gift.
  • Sorry to generalise but most young girls (I’m guessing aged 8 to 18) love stationery. If you’re going down this route, I recommend your nearest big supermarket. I always raid the bargain stationery shelves for our Christmas Shoeboxes and I’ve found some incredible bargains.

Winner: Best Gift of 2024

Last year I was given the Salter Milk Frother/Hot chocolate maker. (Mine is black but otherwise I think it’s the same.) This is the gift we have used every day. I wouldn’t say it’s amazing for hot chocolate – it just mixes and heats it but I can do that with a kettle and a spoon.

However, it does make beautiful frothy milk which we have used in coffees and hot chocolates, and in the summer it makes frappe milk which can be used for iced coffees when we’re so hot we want to cry.

The only downsides are: it’s quite expensive (I think mine was £30) and you have to hand wash it.

But if people in your family like hot chocolate and/or frothy drinks, this is a luxury worth buying.

I’d love to know your ideas! Don’t be shy, please let me know.

Not what I ordered

I recently taught a lesson to the children at church about Matthew 7:7-12. (I could remember teaching it before, not too long ago, so the Lord must have really wanted me to pay attention this time!)

“Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone?”

This is an easy one to illustrate with kids. You just need bread and a stone. Of course, that’s one of the ways that Jesus is a genius. It’s so simple, a child can understand it. And yet it’s so profound that the Sunday School teacher is still pondering it weeks later.

I think it might be inevitable that when talking about asking God for things and being given those things, we end up talking about the times when we don’t get what we ask for.

I’m hoping this wasn’t a distortion but I talked to the children about how, with their parents, sometimes they ask for the stone, but they’re given the bread. Our mums and dads don’t want us to break our teeth. We might stomp and whine and pout because we really do want that stone. But our parents love us, so they keep saying ‘no.’

I hope we can see how our Heavenly Father is like this. I ask for things that seem really good to me, but when he says ‘no’ and gives me something else instead, I can trust that he is acting for my good.

How do I know? As Jesus says, ‘If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!’

As an aside – If you’re reading or watching stuff that tells you to always say ‘yes’ to your children, even when they’re asking for the wrong things, please reject this. Our children do not know what’s good for them. That’s one of the reasons God gave them parents. ‘No’ is often the kindest thing you can say to your child.

But back to me, in Sunday School, thinking, ‘I recently used these exact props – what did I use for a snake last time?’, another thought struck me.

Sometimes, we’re given good gifts we don’t want. They don’t taste like a freshly baked bread roll or some beer-battered haddock. But they’re given to us by God for our good. I know not everything is called a gift, so I don’t want to stretch this out too far. But I’ve been given trials, which I did not ask, seek or knock for. They don’t seem good to me. But is my Heavenly Father a better parent than I am? Yes, a thousand times yes.

I give my children things they don’t want: discipline, healthy food, lessons in tidying up after themselves. This is for their good. They might not trust me, but they should!

How much more should I trust my Heavenly Father? He has given me a chronic illness that I didn’t want. I still don’t want it. But even now I can see that he is using it to teach me to depend more on him, which is such a good thing. I can give thanks to him, not just for the medicine and the doctors, but even for giving me this trial.

So next time your child doesn’t want what you’ve given him or her (which happens rather frequently for me, anyone else?), may it remind you to give thanks for what God has given you that you neither sought or asked for.

How to have a Happy Christmas

Happy Christmas Eve! I hope you’ve got a restful day planned – but I know you might be working/travelling/prepping. I really hope your day doesn’t involve any Christmas shopping, eek. But if it does, I’m sure all will be well!

I love buying gifts, but I find it difficult to think of gift ideas for all of my children several times over. I can buy them gifts, but when their lovely grandparents, uncles, aunts, family friends etc. ask me what to buy for them, I run out of ideas.

My daughter has her Birthday in November (every year!), so we have enough trouble trying to think of what to give her, and then as soon as it’s over we’re asking her what she’d like for Christmas. She can never think of anything.

I’m similar, because I spend all year trying to practise contentment, not coveting my neighbour’s donkey, and then suddenly I’m asked to come up with an entire list of things I want. (And my Birthday is in December – every year.) I don’t mean to complain about this, I just find it a peculiar shift.

For weeks I’ve been asking my daughter what she’d like, and she’s been apologising – apologising! – for not knowing. In the end I told her, it’s wonderful to be content. That’s the right thing to be. Well done.

I don’t mean it’s sinful to ask for the latest Richard Osman book for Christmas. But godliness with containment is great gain. I try not to mind either way if I get what I’ve asked for at Christmas. We try not to encourage our children to write lists and especially not to get their hearts set on anything in particular. Maybe this is weird? But we just try to set their expectations low.

So here’s my big Christmas Eve tip. Let’s prepare our hearts, and our children’s hearts, for a contented Christmas Day. Let’s warn them that someone else will probably get a gift that they’d really like, and someone will buy them a gift which they don’t want. It’ll be wrong. It’ll be very wrong or just not quite right. That gift will likely be from me. Sorry in advance!

We can pray that God would make us thankful instead.

Thankful that he gives us breath in our lungs.
Thankful that he gives us people who love us.
Thankful that he has given us the greatest, most costly gift.
Thankful that he is all we need and more.

What freedom there is in being thankful!

19 Moreover, when God gives someone wealth and possessions, and the ability to enjoy them, to accept their lot and be happy in their toil—this is a gift of God. 20 They seldom reflect on the days of their life, because God keeps them occupied with gladness of heart. Ecclesiastes 5

6 But godliness with contentment is great gain. 7 For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. 8 But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 1 Timothy 6

Advent 2024: Christmas Gift Ideas

My Christmas gift idea posts have been extremely popular in the past. And I’m OK with that! Even though my blog is really supposed to be about following Jesus. You can find my previous posts here, here, here and here. I can’t remember what I said but I assume I still stand by these recommendations!

Here are 5 ideas for 2024, in no particular order:

  1. This may seem an unusual idea for a Christmas gift but I do highly recommend Brad Franklin’s book, ‘When Sorrows Like Sea Billows Roll.’ The book review can be found here and you can buy it here. (It’s in the sale! I paid twice that a few weeks ago for my copies which I’m giving as gifts.)
  2. Every year I give my mum a photo calendar full of photos of our family. I always get myself a copy, too. I enjoy making these and I especially love looking at them. This is a great gift for grandparents.
    I also made a photo book this year after a wonderful time hosting my brother and his family. I ordered a second copy and gave it to my niece for her birthday. Maybe you know someone who’d appreciate a photo book! I use photobox but I’m sure there are other good sites.
  3. Portable charger – my eldest asked for this for her birthday and I imagine many teens would appreciate one! You can buy ones with built-in cables which seem to be very handy. This way hopefully their phone won’t die when they’re out and you’re trying to call them!
  4. Bop It! This is an oldie but a goodie. But only if you can stand the noise – unless it’s for someone else’s child! In which case just go for it. Personally I don’t mind noise if it’s keeping children occupied and doesn’t involve a screen.
  5. Splendor – This is a board game my sister-in-law bought for my children last Christmas. A family game is a great gift idea and this one is easy to pick up and my children really like it. My 10-year-old enjoyed it but I’d say 8+ could probably get into it.
  6. Bonus: Stocking filler ideas:
    To me, stocking fillers are not expensive. Perfume is not a stocking filler. These ideas may be obvious to you but I hope they might spark some inspiration!
    – Fairy lights
    – A baking kit from the supermarket (like 12 cupcakes or cookies etc. To be done on 27th December when you’ve run out of ideas!)
    – Any sort of small puzzle or build-it kit eg. fake Lego or fake Meccano-style things. Gives the kids something to do for 10 mins on Christmas morning. (Flying Tiger is good for this kind of thing.)
    – A book of paper aeroplanes (you can get origami versions for those who feel they’re too grown up for this!)
    – A little card game to play at the table – they sell these in the supermarket.
    – Pants and socks
    – A hot chocolate bomb or “spoon”.
    – Nail varnish
    – Lip balm
    – A new toothbrush
    – An ‘erase your face’ cloth – bamboo cloth for removing makeup
    – A magazine or comic, rolled up
    – A Puzzle book
    – Sweets/chocolate
    – Fruit!
    – Stationery

I hope you found this helpful. I love giving gifts. It truly is a blessing. And in doing so, whether it’s a small, homemade gift or something expensive, we reflect our Heavenly Father, who has given us the most precious gift. As my man Colin (Buchanan) says, ‘Jesus is the greatest gift that there could ever be!’

I don’t work Mondays

This morning my son asked me, “Do you work Mondays?”

He asked because I work at his school and he wanted me to carry something into school for him. I had to disappoint him today because I don’t work Mondays. I work 3 days a week at the school.

I don’t know about you but the summer mornings before school are even busier than usual. Here’s what my morning looked like:

My eldest needed ingredients for a cookery lesson so as well as getting the usual lunches ready I was also busy measuring out flour into a freezer bag and wrapping up a single egg in an egg box. (I did ask her if the school had considered buying a dozen eggs and asking everyone to bring in 5op, rather than getting 12 girls to each bring in a single egg. What could she say? She’s not in charge.) Thankfully she is organised so had already gone and bought the tomatoes and grated cheese she needed. Legend.

The aforementioned son has a cricket match this afternoon so as well as reminding him to have his lanyard on and telling him where his tie was I prepared a box of food for him so he doesn’t arrive home absolutely ravenous. I then tried to smear a bit of suncream on him and checked he had a cap and called after him (through the entryphone, like a madwoman) to check he had water with him. I then phoned him when he was on the bus to double check he did actually have water and wasn’t just saying that so I’d let him leave and he wouldn’t be late. (His match is about an hour’s drive away and I’m still waiting to hear if he’ll be brought back to school or whether I need to go and collect him. Eek.)

My younger son is doing ‘bikeability training’ this week so needed to cycle to school. In theory this is no bother but when I asked him when he’d last ridden his bike he said ‘that place we went when it was Martha’s birthday’ (Centerparcs), which was in the Easter holidays so his dad had to go out and check his tyres and do whatever other mysterious things need to be done to bikes before you can go anywhere. He also needed his swimming kit which was in the wash so we had to gather together a spare set. Not a big deal. So far it’s 8.03 and things are going OK. Between cycling and swimming I’m not sure he’s going to do much English today but I’m happy for him.

This was also the morning when, in preparation for the school fair, we needed to take in prizes for the tombola, i.e. toys/games that children would like to win. We have a different school fair offering each week at the moment. Last week it was a cup of sweets. The first year this whole situation caught me out but now I see it coming round the corner and am quite prepared. Remembering to take the things in that I’ve bought feels like the real achievement, especially when I was having to remember the bike helmet and the swimming and the flour and eggs and the water and suncream mentioned above. (Please, please never assume a parent is forgetful when they forget something!)

In between these activities I was merrily putting loads of washing in because while the sunshine may give my son sunstroke today, it will also dry my washing. Which for a mother of four, is such a treat. And I was also running a small cafe – making porridge, sunny-side-up-well-done-please-eggs on toast, peanut butter sandwiches (not toasted) and jam on toast. Some would argue that I should just dump some Weetabix down and tell everyone to be grateful, and I would find it hard to argue with them.

I say all these things not to moan. I actually love being at home and being able to get everything ready for my children. I want them to have what they need. Plus I have energy in the morning. (This evening, when we have boxing club, drama club, piano lessons and a possible drive to Teddington to collect a dehydrated cricketer, I may struggle.) I say this for two reasons:

  1. Perhaps you had a similar morning and it’s nice to know you’re not the only one. Keep going. Your children are blessed and it’s not too long now till the holidays.
  2. Perhaps it’s more accurate to say that I do work Mondays, after all.

How about you? Do you work Mondays?

Christmas Shopping 2023

In previous years people have quite enjoyed my Christmas gift ideas, so I’ve tried hard again this year to make some good suggestions for you. I hope you’re excited about Christmas and not feeling stressed about the shopping. My previous years’ posts are here, here and here.

I’ve been reflecting on how amazingly generous God is, and what a privilege it is to be able to celebrate him by showing generosity to people we love. (Let’s try to keep that in mind when we’re in the queues or we’re behind on the wrapping!)

For Baking Lovers:

My daughter loves to bake and we’ve enjoyed a few recipes from the the ‘Fitwaffle’ lady, Eloise Head. For her 14th birthday this month her aunt bought her the ‘Baked in One‘ book and a 20cm square tin to go with it. (Every recipe in the book can be baked in the 20cm square tin.) I thought this was a really lovely gift. Maybe check out her videos to see if it’s the sort of thing your baking-lover would enjoy.

3D puzzles

My son really likes building 3D wooden things. In fact, so does my husband. They’re a step up from those dinosaur ones you get in museums or owl ones you get at the Wetland Centre – you know what I mean. There are loads on Amazon. If you’ve got a tween who’s good at puzzles they should be able to do it – perhaps with the help of a willing adult. (Not me, sorry. I’ll be baking something from Fitwaffle.)

2D Puzzles

If you know someone who likes a good jigsaw at Christmas, I think this would be a lovely gift – it’s a different jigsaw to do on each of the 12 days of Christmas. Here’s the Waterstone’s link to buy it but it is sold elsewhere. Each jigsaw is quite small but I think it’s a fun idea and could be enjoyed by little ones and oldies alike. The description says ‘Minimum Puzzle Dust’ which is a problem I didn’t know I could have. I’m grateful to have it kept to a minimum!

Cool notebooks

This website, Atoms to Astronauts, has some unusual notebooks. They’re not cheap – it’s a small business – but would be a lovely gift if within budget for a teen if you’re stuck for ideas! They’re made in the UK.

For Bible-readers who like pretty organisation…

Someone bought my daughter some index tabs for her Bible and they’re just the sort of thing that many girls her age (or even women my age) find really satisfying and beautiful. They also help you find the Bible book you’re looking for. There are a selection at Cheerfully Given.

For the Home

My daughter has been making and selling macramé plant hangers and they’re lovely! They’d be a great gift for anyone with a house plant. If you’d like to buy one, you can go to Vinted or message me on Instagram.

This is an idea I wish I’d seen when my children were younger. It’s a picture frame with storage so you can store your children’s pictures inside and then just keep adding the latest picture to the front. It’s easy to open the front of the frame and add the latest picture. This would be a good gift for a toddler who’s already got enough toys, or for a family who’d appreciate the neatness of it. (I’ve put a link above but there are a few different companies making them.)

For babies and toddlers

I’m sure any parent appreciates a gift that can stack for storage. We like these stack and roll cups from Fisher Price. They’re simple and pleasing.

The other thing that’s good, although not as stackable, is this ramp. Apparently this is good for a child’s development. I’m sure that’s true. And it’s one of the few toddler toys we’ve kept.

Books

The Dreamkeeper Saga books are a good option for children who enjoy fantasy books involving dragons etc. My ten year old enjoyed ‘The Dragon and the Stone.’ He said he liked the magic in it and that ‘foes become friends.’ Mysterious!

I’ve also heard very good things about the Green Ember books so we’re going to try those out this Christmas. They’ve got rave reviews so I’m looking forward to it.

For tight budgets remember that some Christmas cookies, baked with love, are a thoughtful gift. It’s also a lovely idea to frame a good postcard, and nice white frames can be bought very cheaply in the supermarket.

Suggested by a Reader

One of my Instagram followers suggested the Yoto player. I’ve never seen one in real life but perhaps you should check it out. We do love an audio book in our house.

I hope this has been helpful for you. Do comment below if you’ve got a brilliant idea you’d like to share! Happy Shopping x

True and Proper.

This weekend Mum in Zone One is 10 Years old! Thank you to those faithful readers who have been with me since the beginning – and to those we’ve picked up along the way! Please do tell your friends about it if you think they’d be encouraged.

The reason I started this blog was to encourage people – mums in particular – and to share real life and perhaps sometimes make you laugh. I wanted to lift up our eyes to Jesus in the midst of all the crumbs and chaos of parenting littlies. My second post, (10 yrs ago minus a week) was ‘Push, Push, Glide‘ about my daughter’s 4th Birthday. It seems funny to me now that the 4th Birthday of my eldest felt like such a milestone – but I know it really was.

Now of course, she’s 14. Soon I’ll have 2 teenagers. If you have a spread of ages in your household you’ll know that this means I get woken up before 7am by a bright-eyed tot and am still up late in the evening, sipping hot chocolate and talking to a wide-awake, suddenly-ready-to-talk teen. It’s an incalculable blessing. This lifestyle also requires me to spend myself for others in ways that don’t always seem reasonable! Do you ever just lean against a wall for a minute and wonder if someone could make you a cup of tea?

I recently read a great little book called ‘Sacrifice‘ by Simon Guillebaud. It’s very short – I read it in two sittings: one on the Victoria line (which is competing for the noisiest tube line in a field of strong contenders) and one in a soft play area (um – yeah). In summary I’d say it’s a massive kick up the backside for a self-care-giving generation. (I’m really holding back in my description here; you can fill in the blanks I’m sure.)

The book focuses on this verse from Romans 12:

Therefore I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is your true and proper worship.

Romans 12:1

I wonder if people often think of worship as something glamorous and public – hands raised, heart abandoned etc. But if we mention ‘sacrifice’, I think everyone knows that as something hard. Hard, but glorious. In the UK we’ve just observed Remembrance Day, when we remember those who’ve fought for our freedom in conflicts – many of whom have offered their lives in sacrifice for ours. We know that sacrifice is not easy and it’s selfless. That’s why we remember them.

God, our most loving Heavenly Father, tells us that offering our bodies as a living sacrifice is our act of worship. So we’re not worshipping God if we’re not offering ourselves. And if we are offering ourselves freely to Him and to others, this pleases Him. When we set aside what we want and live for others, in order to honour God, then he is honoured.

So it’s worth it. It’s worth the late nights and early mornings, the driving around on a Friday night when you’d rather be on the sofa watching ‘All Creatures Great and Small.’ It’s worth wiping down the table and sweeping up the crumbs, knowing you’ll have to do it again in a few hours. It’s worth the meal prep, the uniform scrabbling, keeping up with the school newsletters, the Bible crafts, the 2am Calpol administration, the unfathomable laundry. It’s worth standing on the sidelines in the freezing cold and the discipline and the gift wrapping and the list making. If we offer these things to our families and to God with joy and a thankful heart, we’re spending ourselves on what really, really matters. It’s not waste. We’re investing our time, energy, all our resources, by offering them to the One who really deserves to be honoured and, in His mercy, can really bring fruit from all of this.

We won’t get everything we want. Then it wouldn’t be sacrifice. Guillebaud put it like this:

‘Our verse tells us that we are to be ‘holy and pleasing to God.’ The issue is full, undivided consecration, which means being dedicated, set apart for God. It involves surrendering our disappointments, hurts and fears, our longings, dreams and aspirations, our finances, health and hobbies, our family, friends, the lot… Holiness encompasses everything.’ p. 30.

Over the years I’ve lived in Chelsea, I’ve had to let go of some of my dreams. I’ve had to trust God and be willing to obey him. I’ve been disappointed. I’ve longed for things I wasn’t allowed to have. But even for that, I’m grateful. Idols give us what we want – for a short time. Because idols don’t love us. They’re like an unkind parent who leaves their child in front of a screen all day and lets them eat sweets until their teeth fall out. But not my Father. My Father loves me. He has set boundaries. He tells me ‘no.’ I dread to think where I’d be now if he’d given me what I wanted.

So let’s keep going. Let’s rejoice in the unseen ways we can serve others, offering it all up to God as our true and proper worship. Let’s trust God more than what our eyes can see. Let’s make our own cups of tea and be cheerful about it.

(If you’d like to hear a podcast episode on the topic of worship, featuring my husband Mike and myself, you can find it here or search for Delight Podcast Episode 12.)

Dads Behaving Badly – David

This Summer I’m doing a series called ‘Dads Behaving Badly.’ You can read the intro here. We’re learning about our good Heavenly Father through the not-good fathers we find in the Bible.

My final dad might be a surprising one. He’s also one of my OT heroes. It’s David. The man after God’s own heart, full of contradictions. The man who restrained himself from the evil of killing Saul – twice, and in between those events almost destroyed Nabal and all his property because of some bread.

Oh, David.

Incidentally, from what we know, David’s father Jesse seemed to ignore him a bit, but that’s not what I want to focus on right now. It probably didn’t help though.

I don’t know if you’ve got a challenging child, but I’m assuming that none of your children has organised a coup and tried to kill you so that you have to flee for your life. That’s what happened with Absalom. (This was after he murdered his brother for raping his sister. Once again, they make our family dynamics seem positively idyllic.)

David’s life is a bit of an epic narrative but long story short, we end up with a war between Team David and Team Absalom. But when it comes to the crunch, David doesn’t want Absalom to be killed. His men fight bravely for David and for the LORD, but all David seems to care about is Absalom: ‘Is the young man Absalom safe?’ (2 Samuel 18:29;32)

I guess we can sympathise here, but the problem is that Absalom is trying to kill God’s anointed king. Back in 1 Samuel, when King Saul was hounding David, David refused to harm God’s king. As he said himself, “But the Lord forbid that I should lay a hand on the Lord’s anointed.” (1 Samuel 26:11)

But now that David is King, he’s too soft with his own son. He’s lost sight of what’s really important – God’s promises; God’s people; God’s glory – and is focused on one thing: his treacherous son’s safety.

As controversial as it might be to say it: this is child-led parenting at its worst.

This is the very definition of an extreme example. But this kind of parenting is growing in popularity and although it appears kind, gentle and patient it is actually really bad news. If David’s men had followed his orders then Absalom could have ended up in charge of God’s people.

As David should have known, the trouble with putting your child in charge is that it’s not God’s design. Despite our weakness and our faults, God has put us in charge, so we need to honour God’s authority by teaching our children to honour ours.

The world doesn’t acknowledge God’s authority, and so the world is happy to tell us to take the lead from our children. But let David and Absalom be our cautionary tale. I don’t want to end up with a coup in my home.

There’s now a generation of young adults who, in general terms, have been over-indulged and raised to think that they’re in charge. Discipleship will be hard for them because it starts with learning that God is actually the boss, not them. But in the gospel there is hope for them, just as there was hope for David, and Jonah (the spoilt brat), and the apostle Paul (the over-achiever).

As Paul wrote, we have an anointed King who reigns forever and if we keep him at the centre of our families, it will keep the coups at bay:

15 The Son is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation.16 For in him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things have been created through him and for him. 17 He is before all things, and in him all things hold together. 18 And he is the head of the body, the church;he is the beginning and the firstborn from among the dead, so that in everything he might have the supremacy. (Colossians 1)

I will be rounding off this series with a Good Dad. I wonder if you can guess who it is. Tune in next week. If you’re enjoying this series, please share it with your friends. My blog is thus far a very well-kept secret.

Dads Behaving Badly – Eli

This Summer I’m doing a series called ‘Dads Behaving Badly.’ You can read the intro here. We’re learning about our good Heavenly Father through the not-good fathers we find in the Bible.

Today’s Dad is Eli. (One of the top comedy deaths in the Bible, surely.) Eli’s sons worked in the temple but were dirty rotten scoundrels. When Eli found out about their shenanigans, he did try to rebuke them but they didn’t listen.

It doesn’t specifically say this in the text but I do feel like Eli failed to discipline his sons when they were young. Why do they behave so terribly? Why don’t they fear God? Why don’t they listen to their father’s rebuke? Eli was happy to let them steal the fat from the sacrifices and feed it to him:

29 Why do you scorn my sacrifice and offering that I prescribed for my dwelling? Why do you honour your sons more than me by fattening yourselves on the choice parts of every offering made by my people Israel?’ 1 Samuel 2.

As a priest, Eli was in a position of huge responsibility, but he was a hypocrite. He didn’t respect God and he passed on that example to his irreverent sons.

Eli has set them a bad example, and as a result this very fat man (whose girth is mentioned repeatedly) dies a very sad and silly death:

18 When he mentioned the ark of God, Eli fell backward off his chair by the side of the gate. His neck was broken and he died, for he was an old man, and he was heavy. He had led Israel forty years. 1 Samuel 4.

God the Father is not like Eli. God disciplines the ones he loves. He puts his own glory first, and that’s what’s best for us. As parents, we know it’s hard to discipline our kids. The easiest thing would be not to bother. But out of love, we do it. And God disciplines us, too. How we need it!

My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not resent his rebuke,
12 because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
    as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3

If you feel convicted by this story that you haven’t disciplined your own children, then fear not: you can start today. Our kind and gracious Father is ready to help us.

Nobody enjoys discipline, including the parent having to dish it out. But it’s part of loving our children, and it’s part of God’s love for us, too: “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:11)

Righteousness and peace.

For those who have reached adulthood and realise they were never truly disciplined, there is grace and healing and love from our Father in Heaven. His Spirit is at work in us. He never stops sanctifying us. He who began a good work in us will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. (Philippians 1:6).

Tune in next week for another Dad Behaving Badly! You can subscribe to my blog by clicking on something… I think it might be a button that says ‘Follow.’

Dads Behaving Badly – Jacob

We’re in a summer series called ‘Dads Behaving Badly.’ You can read the first post here.

I hope it will encourage you that God is the perfect Father, that nobody is beyond his reach, and that he can turn any lost boy into a good father. I hope we can see together that even when a good father or husband is nowhere to be seen, we can look to God, our perfect Heavenly Father, and know that he is more than all-sufficient.

Our next example is Abraham’s grandson, Jacob (aka Israel). Did he respect women? He married two sisters so even by today’s standards that’s a poor start. Then he picked his favourites – Rachel’s boys. Unsurprisingly this led to a whole lot of resentment, not to mention attempted murder and the selling of Joseph into slavery:

3 Now Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons, because he had been born to him in his old age; and he made an ornate robe for him.4 When his brothers saw that their father loved him more than any of them, they hated him and could not speak a kind word to him. Genesis 37.

If things are getting trying in your home this summer, you might feel that nobody is saying a kind word. But hopefully things have not gotten quite this bad! Jacob’s favouritism has caused rifts which will take decades to heal, and even then only with the Lord’s intervention.

This is what God is not like as a Father. God does not show favouritism. We’re told that repeatedly in the New Testament, often in the context of Gentiles being saved along with Jews. He also tells us not to favour the rich over the poor. In Galatians 2 we see that God does not favour those of higher status.

God values everyone equally, so if you’ve ever been the less-favoured child or employee or member of your church, you should know that God does not operate like that. He keeps you as the apple of his eye and hides you in the shadow of his wings. (Psalm 17:8).

What good news this is to the child whose earthly father has favoured someone or something else over his children. Maybe you’ll get to show that wonderful truth to a child, or adult, soon. I hope so.

Tune in next time for another Dad Behaving Badly! You can subscribe to my blog by clicking on something… I think it might be a button that says ‘Follow.’